Breakfast At Tiffany's




Subscribe to "BAT"
Enter your Email

Powered by FeedBlitz



« Sex, Lies & Lou Leviwitz's Birthday Party | Home | House of Sand and Fog »

Lawyer Speak

Part of: Rant

Breakfast: Balance Bar--Cookie Dough

I was rear-ended in an accident almost two years ago. I suffered whiplash. The asshole personal injury lawyer who hit me has the worst insurance company to get money from: Mercury.

My one and only conversation with the guy who hit me:

GUY: “I’d like to make a settlement and not deal with insurance.”
ME: “I’m not really comfortable with that.”
GUY:” Well, maybe you weren’t really in the accident.”
ME: "So you took a picture of my car because I wasn’t in the accident."

I’m sick of people telling me I shouldn’t have gotten a personal injury lawyer. I got a lawyer because I was getting overly stressed-out, and the lawyer thought he could easily get me more money. However, he soon passed my case to an associate, C.

I didn’t get a lawyer until I was negotiating my settlement, so I did most of the work myself and have done most of the work since then. I’ve had to prove my lost wages several times in detail and provide other paperwork.

The really evil insurance adjuster has finally been replaced with someone else. Even Mercury’s lawyer was going to give me more money, but the evil insurance adjuster didn’t budge at all. I only want my lost wages and doctor’s bills paid at this point, though some pain and suffering would be nice. It’s pathetic that my lawyers haven’t been able to even get the settlement up to this base.

A few conversations with my sucky lawyers:

BIG LAWYER: “The jury is going to look at you and not understand how you could’ve been hurt, because you’re young and vital.”
ME: "Huh."
BIG LAWYER: “Your trial date is coming up. You’re pretty, young and articulate—that will work to your advantage in court.”
ME:Yes, because the driver who hit me is an unlikable person injury lawyer.
ME: “I’m not going to trial with C. I’m not confident in him.”
BIG LAWYER: “I know what you’re doing. You want me to say I’ll go to trial.”
ME: Your egomania is out-of-control. Duh, I'm aware that you won’t go to trial on a case you’re going to make nothing on.
ME:” No, I don’t want to go to trial.”
BIG LAWYER:” You know C is willing to go to trial.”
ME: C is dumb enough to take the pennies. If he were smart he would’ve gotten me a settlement long ago.
ME:” I don’t have any faith in him. At my mediation, the other side knew more about the case then he did. It was embarrassing.”
BIG LAWYER: “Well, C is finishing up his cases here then going elsewhere.”
ME: “Will you take less of a percentage on this case?”
BIG LAWYER: “Yes, but you know we’ve incurred costs.”

The other day I was driving to Montecito and put a call into my lawyer and got his assistant.

ME: “Hi, Lisa, it’s Tiffany.”
LISA: “Hey, Tiffany! How are you doing?”
Me: “I’m tired of this case. Is Big Lawyer in?”
LISA: “Wait; let me call C (associate aka “the peon”) on his cell phone. I’ll have him call you back right away. If I don’t get in touch with him, I’ll call you right back.”

No one calls me back. It starts pouring rain, so I have to wait until I get to my destination. It’s an hour later.

ME: “Hi, Lisa.”
LISA: “He never called you?

Lisa is pissed off.

LISA: “C was finishing up with a client and promised he’d call you right away. I’ll have Big Lawyer call you back.”
ME: “Tell him I want a settlement by Friday.”

Big Lawyer calls me back.

BIG LAWYER: “We could settle this case today. We could have settled it at any point. We’ve just been trying to get you more money. Give me until Monday.

C calls me back Wednesday afternoon.

C: "I’ve been calling the adjuster every day and leaving messages. She had said she was going to ask her supervisor for more money."
ME: That was a month ago.
C: "The trial date is coming up."
ME:I’ve only said a million times I am not going to trial.
ME: "I’m tired of this; I think I should deal with this myself."
C: "You’ll probably get more money at this point. You can have my part of the settlement. I don’t want any money from you."
ME: "Oh, okay."
C: "You can talk to Big Lawyer about it."
ME: "Please transfer me to Lisa."
ME: "I want to finish the case myself. Can I talk to Big Lawyer?"
LISA: "He’s in a meeting right now. I’ll have him call you back."

Still awaiting Big Lawyer’s call….


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Post a comment

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)