--Joaquin Phoenix survived a car crash, and I’m sure that he was 100% sober. Joaquin’s brakes faltered and his car flipped over. His publicist says that he wasn’t hospitalized and he’s fine. Don’t fret, he’ll definitely be at the SAG awards on Sunday. Cool, now he has an excuse to look totally drugged out. Publicists are smart. [via TMZ]

--Salma Hayek has decided not to give into the pressure to be actress thin ‘cause it makes her bitchy. In fact barely eating makes most actresses bitchy, she noted. Come on Salma, stop acting. Most actresses are already class A bitches and you starve yourself too. [Female First]

--Noel Gallagher of Oasis says that children are "devil brats". BTW: He has a 5 year-old daughter. He also thinks that people become boring after they have kids—like duh! [Ananova]

--Some Saudi Arabian teachers have figured out a way to supplement their measly incomes. They call each other the night before class and say, "Let’s skip school and go play the stock market tomorrow." Saudi Arabia's education ministry is pissed off. [Reuters]

--Kate Moss isn’t another dumb model. Before she writes her memoir she’s making sure that there are documented accounts of her wild child ways. 2 high-speed paparazzi chases within days of each other with one in the same tunnel that Princess Diana died in—impressive. Slagging Sienna Miller to girlfriends the other night at the Ritz--not so impressive. [The Sun]