Breakfast At Tiffany's




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Boring, Bitchy Wannabe Models

Part of: Television

I hardly ever watch MTV, but caught that reality show "8th & Ocean" last night. It’s about young models living in an apartment in South Beach. One apartment is filled with boys and the other with girls. Can you say boring? "America’s Next Top Model" is the only worthwhile model show. I hate everyone on "8th & Ocean" –even the fish-out-of-water chick, sweet Britt. All of the “models” have attitude, which is retarded, because everyone in South Beach is sickly beautiful and a model-- I’m not kidding. People think LA is home to the beautiful people, but they’re wrong.

The most annoying person on the show so far is Kelly. For some reason she has a superiority complex over her less attractive but identical twin sister, Sabrina. Sabrina has low self-esteem and bad acne. She wears a baseball cap to go-sees to try to hide it, but FYI: that just makes it worse. I had forehead acne when I was younger and it went away when I grew out my bangs. Sabrina has other zits, too, though. She’s a mess, but maybe just needs to get laid and eat real food instead of diet pills. Oh, and Sabrina has dead eyes in all of her modeling pictures. She wouldn’t last one episode on ANTM. Of course Kelly’s complexion is flawless and she takes good pictures. But she’s very plain, pretty girl looking—think Sweet Valley High. From her attitude, you’d think that she was the next Kate Moss. Oh, but then she’d have to be a coke whore and put together fashionable outfits. Maybe by the end of the season she’ll have the coke whore thing down. Even though I hate Kelly and Sabrina, I feel a tad sorry for them. They obviously have horrible parents. Who would let their twin daughters have the same modeling agency? Selfish assholes.

The star of the show is supposed to be 19-year-old Britt aka daughter of a preacher. She is tres dull. Britt was home- schooled and doesn’t even know how to dance, and if you believe that you are seriously gullible. All of the girls hate her because she’s the prettiest and hasn’t given copious amounts of fellatio. Britt’s MTV bio says that she wants to follow in her parents’ footsteps and raise money for children's charities, but through modeling. Barf. She comes from a large family, which means if she’s making tons of money they’ll be taking it. Or, Britt will get her naive ass pregnant and have to support her illegitimate child since she doesn’t believe in birth control. (PS If Britt were a devout Christian she wouldn’t be modeling and living in Miami, OK??) Nice try MTV.

I’ve got nothing to say about the guys because they’re all boring. 8th & Ocean sucks, so don’t watch it.


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