--“Desperate Housewives” should be called “Desperate Actresses.” That’s what I’ll name my new pilot! It’s a story about an ensemble cast of actresses who are so desperate to stay in the spotlight that their lives revolve around topping each other by finding the bigger skeletons in their closets. Teri Hatcher revealing that she was molested tops Nicollette Sheridan’s engagement to Michael Bolton. Felicity Huffman’s past struggle with bulimia almost trumps Teri Hatcher’s abuse story, but not quite. Eva Longoria crying for days after her father shot a rabbit—hmm. Sorry Eva, no one cares and it's not like you're a vegetarian or anything, so STFU already.

--Alicia Silverstone is going back to the little black box. She will be starring in the comedy “Pink Collar” about lesbian sex female relationships within the workplace. PS: She just finished appearing in David Mamet’s play “Boston Marriage” about female relationships outside of the workplace, where she played a (possibly) bisexual housekeeper with a mean Scottish accent. Is she being typecast? [my way]

--Liz Smith is 83 and still writes gossip 6 days a week. But she doesn’t think much of bloggers (though she reads us) and other gossips under 70:

Smith says the gossip business has become "watered down." "There are too many people doing it," Smith says. "And now they do it on the Internet. And bloggers do it. And the bloggers don't have to be responsible. They can tell, say anything they want. They aren't substantiated for the most part. So I'm afraid to read them and believe I know something. And then I'll reiterate it maybe down the line and forgotten where I got it." But she couldn't blame the bloggers when, five years ago, her own life became the stuff of gossip. In her memoir "Natural Blonde," Smith wrote not only about her two divorces, but also that her love life had included women as well as men.[CBS]

I wonder what she thinks of the tabloids. Are they responsible because they are print journalists? Interesting...

--Beverly Hills 90210 alum, Jennie Garth, is pregnant with her third child. She's had a lot of work done for a 33-year-old. Now she has an excuse to get more.[TMZ]

-Salma Hayek is directing Prince’s new music video, Te Amo Corazon. Somehow I’m not surprised. Salma also thinks that the two have something in common: they’re both geniuses. Yeah, genius freaks. [3am]

--Unfortunately, I didn’t catch Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ new comedy “The New Adventures of Old Christine” on Monday. Apparently the ratings were strong. That's what happens when you let ex "Will and Grace" writer, Kari Lizer, create and write your show and not your husband. [my way]

--You may as well become a hooker or drug dealer instead of doing one of those drug trials for $2,000. A drug study in England done by an American company turned into a grotesque horror film. One volunteer who was given a placebo said of the other 6 volunteers, “First they began tearing their shirts off complaining of fever, then some screamed out that their heads felt like they were about to explode.After that they started fainting, vomiting and writhing around in their beds.” [The Sun]

--Courtney Love is selling a quarter of the rights to the Nirvana catalogue for bank. She’s also currently developing plans for a new record deal, a TV documentary, and a theatre role. Wow, I didn't know that anyone cared about Love anymore. [Digital Spy]

Previously:

I see stars
Stoned!
Stoned!
Isaac hits the red carpet at the golden globes