[Breakfast: Green Ginger Tazo tea and a Toffee Crisp]

This postcard from Cannes stuff isn’t necessarily going to be in order so you’ll just have to deal. Also, it’s going to be mixed in with my blog’s regular content, so don’t fret my darlings, you’ll still get your daily fix of Hollywoodisms, gossip and fashion. You know that I didn’t bring my laptop with me overseas because it would’ve been a major pain in the ass considering that it’s heavy, doesn’t fit in most safes and my itinerary was: London, Cannes, London, Paris and back to London Heathrow via Luton--Which, BTW, is not an easier airport to try to get into the country if you’re trying to do something shady. So thank you dumbass people who held up the customs line forever. (No less than five people ahead of me were told to go sit to the side after talking with a customs agent for 10 minutes or longer.) So now onto my first Stoned! Kirsten Dunst in Cannes addition. I’ve been reading that Marie Antoinette was booed at one of the press screenings in Cannes. But who gives a merde about the press aka film journalists. They’re all mostly underpaid losers who wish they could be famous actors, actresses and screenwriters and most of them weren’t given enough attention as children. And no, I don’t want to be an actress. DK was accusing me of being an actress the other day and I said, "If I wanted to be an actress, I would be one." And that’s the truth.

Speaking of actresses, I don’t even really have an opinion about Kirsten Dunst. Like everyone else I fell in love with her in Interview with the Vampire and have seen a ton of her movies since then, but really don’t remember her in any of them except for Bring it On---loved her in that!!! So why am I destined to keep running into K.D. just like the much less illustrious Billy Zane? I was hanging out with DK in the British Airways lounge at the Nice airport because we were finally leaving Cannes. That airport lounge is much less nice than their lounge at Heathrow, but it’s still better than chilling out in the regular airport. The bad coffee and stale brioches were worth a K.D. sighting. Miss K.D. made her presence known when she was whisked into the lounge by her Vin Diesel but more Eurotrash looking assistant—I presume-- and her arty friend who I think was a minor indie actress. She had one of the most nondescript faces I’ve ever seen. She also resembled a stylist I was reading about in the current Paris Vogue, but she looked younger. She’s a dork, because she took out her video camera and started filming the coffee machine. But as homely did this, K.D. felt the need to sashay around the lounge pointing out what food and drinks were available before deciding that she’d have the typical actress diet of black coffee, cigarettes and a British Vogue to glance at stick figure models to stave off any hunger. La de da. I finally got to see K.D. in full needy actress mode instead of my normal girl encounter with her a few months ago.

I was fine with witnessing that display and checking out her travelling attire (a Marc Jacobs? peasant caftan in blue, black ballet flats, and no makeup with messy hair extensions. Way better than those 2B Free track suits that most stars travel in.) There is no way that K.D. is anorexic either because her legs are nowhere near stick thin. I do get the sense that she’s a drinker or parties a bit, but that’s just an instinct. Anyway, DK and I had better seats on the plane than K.D. hahhaha. Sitting in the first row and aisle seat of the plane, I was able to overhear her conversation with some random guy who was questioning her while she was waiting for the bathroom. Marie Antoinette was actually K.D.’s first film premiere in Cannes. Poor Kirsten Dunst couldn’t even enjoy the premiere of her film because she was so scared of how the film would be received. The film was given a 15-minute standing ovation, so in this story K.D. lived happily ever after.

Related Entries:

Postcard from Cannes- Part One
Marc Jacobs' Celebrity Muses
Stoned! Kirsten Dunst