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--Keith Urban and Miss USA, Tara Conner, have both checked out of rehab. Good, now the media can put 100% of their focus on Lindsay Lohan’s rehabilitation at Wonderland. She’s a million times more interesting. I mean, she even wears boy’s underwear over leggings! [Source 1 and 2]

--It’s taken Mandy Moore 22 years to have her first experience with depression. She promises that her next album won’t suck because she’s seen the dark side and was forced to look inward. "I feel bad that people wasted their money on such trite, blah pop music," says Moore about her earlier music. [Source]

--Heather Mills and Paul McCartney haven’t reached a divorce settlement worth more than $63 million as reported by News of the World. Duh! It’s totally obvious that Heather would never settle for less than 100 million. People might think that she’s poor. [Source]

--Pamela Anderson has taken her animal-rights activism to the United States Postal Service. She’s incensed that KFC has requested to put the image of their founder, Colonel Sanders, on a stamp. Pamela shouldn’t waste her time on this issue. Even the post office has standards or Ronald McDonald would already be on a stamp. McDonalds is way more popular than KFC. [Source]

--Paris Hilton has pleaded “no contest” in her DUI case to alcohol-related reckless driving. Yeah, that sounds a lot nicer than “guilty.” Like most celebrities she will not go to jail, but will be on probation for 3 years, pay a fine of $390 and attend an alcohol education program. She could also complete probation in 24 months if she completes 40 hours of community service. Like that will ever happen. [Source]

--Brad Pitt had conveniently just quit his job as a limo driver/bouncer for strippers when he was persuaded to do it one last time, which ended up being responsible for the start of his acting career. A random chick that he’d never met before (I assume he meant the stripper) was taking acting classes by a famous acting teacher named Roy London and he went to check him out. The rest is history. Um, doesn’t that mean that he ended up dating the stripper? [Source]

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