Before I start my report, I need to clear up the logline for The Hottie and the Nottie. The movie is about an average guy who has to find a boyfriend for the object of his affection’s trollish friend before the most gorgeous woman in L.A. will date or become physically intimate with him. I know this to be true because I’ve read the script.

More exciting than that is the fact that Paris Hilton likes one of my favorite brunch spots, Toast. J/k about the exciting part. Today it was freezing and I had to spend part of the day outside watching scenes from a monitor because of space issues. I even got some of those hand and feet warmers that you use when you’re skiing, but they didn’t help much. Lunch was at 5 because the call was practically at Noon. My favorite part was the Bananas Foster. Paris Hilton actually ordered her hot meal from craft services then skipped over with her pink blankie to where a guy was making the Bananas Foster. She even doctored her own bananas with whipped cream and ice cream. For once she wasn’t on her Blackberry, but she was wearing her sunglasses in the dark. Thank God that no one attempted to socialize with her.

The actors spent their free time on set text messaging each other on their Blackberries. So that’s how actors make the time go by on set these days. I was surprised by how orally fixated Paris was for not being a smoker. When she had a break on set she was always chewing gum or eating junk food like potato chips. Maybe she was nervous because it was her first day of shooting. I got to sit next to Christine Lakin (June) while she was being made up for a particularly gruesome scene having to do with her feet. I had a hard time looking at her because she was so fugly in character. I had to imagine drinking a chai soy latte from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf to stay calm. The parts of San Pedro they’ve been filming in have no chain coffee establishments…not even Starbucks. WTF? When I got bored of the hurry up and wait nature of filmmaking, I ventured off looking for paparazzi. The set security had a good setup and no paps had gotten through.

I went into a cold schoolroom where all the extras were hanging out. It really sucks to be an extra—don’t let anyone tell you differently. The extras were wearing yoga clothes since the scene that they were filming took place in a yoga studio. They were supposed to all be from some yoga school, but instead of stretching out and being all Zen they were sitting around acting bored. They seriously chowed down at lunch, though. Did I mention that it was freezing?

Oh, I forgot about Paris Hilton’s stand-in/body double. She had on this cheesy wig and I think she was even wearing blue contacts like Paris does. (Yeah, I never knew that.) She got to do downward facing dog with her ass sticking out for hours so Paris didn’t have to. (The yoga scene is when June is first introduced and is hilarious.) The double also got to look into nothingness for hours while they were adjusting the lighting and filming single shots. Her job was worse than being an extra.

TBC

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From the Set of "The Hottie and the Nottie" -- *BAT Exclusive*