-Madonna’s alleged former nanny, Melissa Dumas, claims that the rockstar insisted on complete silence in the house when she was sleeping. Is that weird? Her tell-all book will also expose gems like Madonna’s “complete ban on all television, newspapers and magazines, and a severe dietary regime for the nanny.” Duh, a nanny must be as close to God as possible to take care of Madonna’s beloved children. I hope she made her meditate and do yoga, too. [Source]

---Now that fashion designer Marc Jacobs has checked into rehab again (after being sober for 7 years) rehab can finally be deemed fashionable. I hope his Spring 2008 collection’s theme is ‘Rehab Chic.’ All the starlets would buy it. [Source]

---Comic Richard Jenni has committed suicide. It’s very tragic that another talented and successful comedian had to remind us that he was dark and depressed inside. [Source]

--Rob Morrow, Fisher Stevens and Chad Lowe (yawn) tried to rebel by skiing out of bounds at Aspen, but they got lost and had to be rescued by the Aspen Ski Patrol. They finally joined the club of C-List Celebrities Who Accidentily Figured Out How To Get A Free Three Hour Tour With a Picnic Lunch By The Snow Patrol. [Source]

--Mandy Moore and DJ AM broke up. Are we supposed to care? [Source]

--Michael Jackson is finally letting The Beatles out of jail. He’s being forced to sell the rest of his catalogue collection to Sony because he’s poor. [Source]