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Minority Report

Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

* I wrote this back in May. I was in a car accident a year and a half ago, and the insurance company didn't want to pay my entire medical bill or compensate me for my lost wages. I had to turn to a lawyer. Next week I have my first mediation. Thus, you can read my few witty previous entries and be up to date.

I went to my lawyers’ office today. My lawyer is black and has a hip black person's name. Don't know if that's "PC" to say. C welcomed me and pointed at my notebook, "What's that for?"

"Uh, any notes I might have," I said. Was I in the minority? I always needed to be able to express myself on paper

"Very good," said C.

C lead me into his office to watch a twenty-minute video on what a deposition was.

"I don't think this is necessary, but P does," he said softly laughing. P owned the firm.

I immediately turned off the florescent lights.

"What are you doing?" C asked.

Uh, I was going to take a nap. "It gives me a headache."

C left to get his coffee. I wasn't offered any beverages, but I had my own water.

I did watch the whole tape, though, my mind wandered a few times. Expressions like "Dress Neatly" and "Be Courteous" were a bit elementary for me. And the sample plaintiff was not even slightly cute.

C came back and watched the last few minutes with me. Ah, how sweet.

"Ugh, my back hurts," he said moving to his desk. "I was playing basketball with my kid," he explained pointing to his lower back. "I used to think people were lying when they said they had pain right after an accident."

"Where's M?" I asked. M was the crazed paralegal. She looked more like a school teacher with her no make-up look and hippie hair.

"You're never going to believe this. She was rear-ended on the freeway yesterday," he said.

I looked at the yellow binders in the bookcase to my right. They all said DOA. "Is she okay?"


We discussed my case for the next hour and a half. I will spare you the boring details. I did get in trouble once--- I said the defendant (who is a real personal injury lawyer) looked like a sleazy personal injury lawyer. Ah, I can't always keep my mouth in check.



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