Breakfast At Tiffany's




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Sunday Mailbag

Part of: Literati , Trick Or Treat


Breakfast: Swiss, Spinach, Onion and Tomato Omelette from The Sidewalk Cafe/Venice Beach.

E-mail Du La Semaine (of the week)

Jennifer Caple writes me:

It is a good thing that you are good enough to be as arrogant as you are. You were extra arrogant on 4/28 with your post and I respect that in you. If I were not a BITCH myself I would accuse you of being one and mean it in a bad way. I appreciate your writing.

Greg Howard writes:

I'd appreciate it if you'd include a cutting-edge investigation of Lauren Graham in a future entry. Frankly, I like the girl and she makes me laugh. But no less than two friends have told me that she makes Colin Farrell look like Miss Manners.

This confuses me and prevents me from doing more productive things like eating, sleeping, and thinking about things other than dumb celebrities whom I do not know. Your assistance would be appreciated.

Tiffany writes:

"Hi, Greg. I think you wrote me before about Lauren Graham. You must be really crushed out. I am not a big fan of "The Gilmore Girls," though I think it is well-written and can see why others like it. I will do my best to find out the truth about Lauren for you. If any of my readers know, please e-mail me."

Musings by Crazed writes:

After reading your latest entry with oh so LA loser person writing inane and insane things about you, I wanted to let you know how much I love your journal. I would never expect someone's journal to give the whole truth of who someone is. Maybe a glimmer, maybe a flash, but nothing more than a written version of who you may or may not be. Back before AOL, when the bulletin board systems were running high & mighty, I allowed my naivety to trick me into thinking what everyone wrote as being the God's Honest Truth. It even led me to call this one person up at home after they threatened to kill themselves. Only a sick ploy as it turned out. So I take everything I read with either a grain of salt or read it for what it should be - pure fiction. And I love the fiction you write. As someone who lived and worked in Los Angeles (and as someone who misses it immensely), I use it as a time warp to those former times. There really is no comparing Los Angeles to New York City - the weather alone makes it impossible. Not that I don't love NYC - I do, but if I could teleport between the two it would be heaven. Maybe I should try out for the third Apprentice - speed up my money timetable to get my own private jet. And then one day we could 'do lunch' as the saying goes and compare notes on what it's like to work, live & breathe within the Hollywood machine.

Jeff Wells "Hollywood Elsewhere" columnist writes:

Friends, My son Jett, 16, will be staying with me in Los Angeles from June 15th to mid August, and is currently looking around for a paying summer job down here.

His resume and photo are attached.

Anything will do, but he's a bright, polite, good-looking kid with an easygoing personality, AND he's
got his own wheels (a recent-model Beetle), AND he drives like a 65 year-old man with a heart condition.

If anyone knows of an outfit that could use the services of a bright kid who obviously isn't in a
position to demand much of a salary, please get back to me and I'll forward it to Jett.

Tiffany writes:

"Dear Jeff, I'm always skeptical when parents talk about how cute their kids are. However, in your case, you weren't lying. Jett is adorable and I'd hire him in a second if I had the budget for a personal assistant. I guess I should take a gander at his resume."

Smotlock writes:

I just noticed this on your FAQ."15. Do you date writers? Not if I can help it"

Is it because we're all neurotic and insecure?

I was thinking the other day how hard it would be for me to keep a normal relationship going and write full time and still spend the amount of time I need alone to just think about ideas and writing. People don't realize how much of writing is just being alone with your thoughts. It rarely just comes to you as you write it. Some of it does sure, but it takes additional hours and hours of just letting your mind wander. People have this glorious notion of what it would be like to date a writer or a musician and it's never as good as they think it's going to be. It ends up taking far too much of their needed attention.

I was talking to this girl in Yahoo the other day and she pissed me off by saying that writers and artists don't deserve to be paid for their work. How she thinks nothing should be copyrightable. I quickly lost interest in her as a human being.

I'm all for offering people stuff for free but when it comes time to sell a book, I want to be able to make money from it. The art and commerse debators can starve, I'm getting paid.

Anyone who doesn't think writing is work has obviously never written.

Nomad writes:

I was just telling [JS Development] the other day how I love your writing and that sometimes your subject matter makes me cringe. I really thought your Paris Hilton rant was hilarious (and made me cringe yet again!) Yeah. Makes me feel sad for her, too.

You write eloquently how sausage is made.


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