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Paps vs. Toast vs. The Hills

Part of: Food , Gossip , Hollywood , LA , Slice of Life , Television

[Breakfast: a slcie of pumpkin pie, "real" whipped cream, white tea]

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Wow. The paparazzi are really out of control. I usually see the paps from afar or on film sets where they have to be somewhat well-behaved. While I ate brunch at Toast this morning (last Wednesday) Lauren Conrad and Kyle Howard were lunching inside. There were no paps when they had pulled up earlier in a fancy silver Audi that looked more like a Lotus. But when they exited, paps popped up from everywhere. The paps were literally standing all over the street and not worried about getting run over. One woman in a Range Rover honked at a pap that was in front of her blocking her from moving and he yelled the most obscene profanities at her that I don't feel comfortable repeating here. I was so shocked and disgusted. The late twentysomething pap went on ad nausea. Besides that, I'm sick of the reality that most celebrities call the paps themselves or have their publicists do it. No, people like Lauren Conrad don't naturally have paps trailing them like Britney Spears. Lauren Conrad is very slim; she doesn't look curvy at all like other gossip sights have suggested.

A day after my L.C. sighting, I was lunching al fresco at Cafe Vida in the Pacific Palisades and was forced to look at Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt as they passed by and stopped to say hi to some guy that Spencer knew--they probably went inside for lunch, but I was still reeling from being forced to see these faux celebrities in person that I didn't notice. I did observe that they were both not wearing sunglasses (in case the paps were around) despite the fact that it was a very sunny day. I really could have gone the rest of my life without seeing these two. Heidi is not a very pretty girl--she's just OK and her body looks better in photographs. She doesn't have a bad body or anything, but she was wearing shorts and I doubt that she works out. Someone needs to get her a different colorist because her almost platinum blonde locks make her look like a wannabe Playboy Bunny--maybe Hugh needs another girlfriend? L.C is prettier, though she looks like your average Hollywood starlet--nothing special.


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While I enjoy flipping through the gossip rags to escape what's going on in the real world, I have two pet peeves.
1) The staged/posed for "action" paparazzi shot that Heidi and Spencer are famous for
2) When the celebrity- real or faux- looks annoyed in the shot even though they are the one that most likely called to be followed around- i.e. Lindsay Lohan.
I swear I'm too old for this.

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