[Breakfast: 2 Morning Star links and 15 pieces of peanut Sunspire candies]

Oh right, I was going to write more about TIFF. DK and I were invited to a premiere screening of Bill complete with an after party and a Jessica Alba appearance. The funniest thing about the screening (No, it wasn’t the movie) was the Harvey Weinstein seat drama. Two of his assistants had the task of saving an aisle seat for Big Man Harvey in the “Reserved” section right in front of where DK and I were sitting. They kept on getting revised ETA’s from Harvey’s third assistant and were trying to save 4 seats—not the easiest task since every film-related person and critic thought they deserved a “Reserved” seat. Five minutes before the film started the assistant let the “Harvey reserved” seats go. 10 minutes into the film Big Man himself showed up and sat in a non-reserved aisle seat that some fourth assistant was holding for him. Harvey was not amused when a couple in his row had to squeeze past him to go to the bathroom leave the screening, which Harvey left in another 10 minutes.

All of the stars of the film were at the screening and were introduced to the audience before the film. The weather was balmy and beautiful--think Hawaii—but Jessica Alba was wearing a suit that covered all of her non-existent curves. She looked like your average pretty businesswoman who was going to take the subway home after a long day of work. I felt sorry for the non-industry people at the screening who weren’t able to get a glance of Jessica’s honey skin. What were they supposed to tell their friends the next day—how great Jessica’s hair extensions were? (These average Joe’s were at the screening because they needed some guaranteed laughs.) Some of the movie was funny, but it was really like a third rate version of American Beauty. A movie critic for the Toronto Star, Kevin, who was sitting next to me didn’t even laugh once. We agreed that Aaron Eckhart was the best thing about the movie.

And Aaron was nowhere to be seen at the after party. WTF? The after party was at a small Japanese restaurant downtown. After downing two vodka martinis, I decided to walk over to the section where Jessica Alba was standing to see what she looked like close up. Even though there were only a limited number of people at the party and all of them were “on the list,” Jessica’s bodyguard was keeping her off limits to anyone who might want to say hi or the unlikely event that someone might want to compliment her performance. As soon as I got close enough to look at her, her bodyguard was like “This is a reserved area.” Then I said probably the lamest thing in history, but it was the truth. “I just want to look at her for a minute.” So I was allowed to observe her sipping a glass of red wine, not eating, and laughing/chatting with a gay man who was definitely employed by her. Oh, but I ended up being aloud to stand there for as long as I wanted because I got someone connected to the movie to OK it. Kevin even wandered over and even though I got him “in” he did not make good on his promise to wine and dine me at the Four Seasons in LA the next week where he was going to be for a film junket. Thanks Kevin!!! BTW: Jessica is a very pretty girl, but she doesn’t have that “It” quality that one needs to be a star. I did eat two Krispy Kreme donuts that Jessica didn’t dare look at.

[Image via Source]