You've Got Mail
Part of: LA , LiteratiTiffany,
Enjoyed browsing your journal. It is obvious you are a talented writer.
It sounds like you get a fair amount of time in hanging out with (or at the peripheries of) the beautiful people.
I am fascinated by the down-side of physical beauty. It isn't talked about that much and I believe there is a great deal more pain and horror associated with it than most people realize.
As a culture we're obsessed with it--we turn people with great physical beauty into something resembling gods and goddesses, regardless of how wretched they are as human beings. Women are killing themselves to be beautiful. Men are destroying their families to "have" the supermodel chick. Women who ARE especially good-looking are forced to wonder about the motives of EVERY man around them and must endure the disdain of women who are less attractive. And so it goes.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever written an article on the subject?
Are you, in fact, physically beautiful? I don't really care--I am never going to meet you--I am merely curious, since you write about "external" things and the "in" crowd one is forced to picture you a certain way. And I noticed your photo gallery was only available upon request (which I totally respect).
Anyway. Later,
Jim
Jim,
Interesting observations, and thank you for letting me post your private message. I will try to answer your questions as honestly as I can. It seems like talking about ones own beauty is taboo. No, I haven’t written an article on the subject.
Yes, people generally find me attractive. Honestly, I don’t really take pride in this fact. I just see it as having good genes. I don’t really understand why people get conceited when they have little to do with their looks, except for their bodies.
When I was much younger, I wanted to be an actress. I got the first agent I auditioned for, but then decided I didn’t want to act. True, I was more passionate about writing, but I decided that I didn’t want to have to obsess about my looks.
My agent told me I should lose ten pounds to look thin on camera. I was acutely uncomfortable about this reality.
Sometimes people really assume you lead a charmed life because of your beauty. No one leads a charmed life. Sometimes it is disconcerting to have people tell me that I’m beautiful or, “Oh, you looked/look so beautiful right then/now.” I feel a weird sort of detachment sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, compliments are nice. I’m not saying that I haven’t been guilty of this myself.
A few downsides of physical beauty: dealing with catty women and men who only want to fuck you and/or show you off. Sometimes I’ve perhaps gotten hired easier at jobs (all attractive people have been shown to have this advantage) but have also experienced being sexually harassed and being fired when I refused having more than a business relationship with my boss. Sometimes I wasn’t taken as seriously.
A current boss of mine has been a mega bitch ever since I surpassed her thinness. A guy friend (husband of a friend) recently told me he thought I was sexier, thinner, and looked more exotic. So it’s true you can never be too rich, thin, or beautiful.
I had to deal with my personal injury lawyer telling me on Friday that a jury would find me too attractive and young to be injured or feel sorry for. A minute later, he was saying I would be a good witness because of these same attributes. Beautiful people have to deal with these exact contradictions. Will people love us or hate us for our beauty?
I think most beautiful people do feel a lot of societal pressure to maintain their looks, especially in large cities and in certain industries. People are always secretly judging beautiful people in a harsh way. We all do it.
