[Breakfast: super-florentine omelette (spinach, cheddar cheese, chicken sausage and onions sans mushrooms) and coffee from Bread and Porridge]

I have a Benifer-sized headache, and they (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez) don’t even exist anymore. I like my dose of gossip here and there and even sometimes participate in the bad karmic habit on my weblog. However, the gossip on Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen has reached an epic crescendo that makes me want to gag myself with a pitchfork. Sure, their publicists could be accomplices in this gossiptopia.

Hollywood 101: The star’s machine sometimes purposely plants gossip items when a star’s shine is dimming.

You may be asking: Why do I care to defend two of the richest eighteen year olds in the world? They are famous and don’t have any privacy rights blah, blah, blah. I know, I know. Let me remind you that they just turned eighteen. They are still kids, though legal to vote, and now one of them is ill—very ill. This physical illness has been documented to death by the media. We can’t wait to see another skeletal-like glimpse of Mary-Kate. Now her sister, Ashley, whom just weeks ago was called too skinny, is being referred to as “the fat one.” We are salivating for the E! True Hollywood Story of the rise and fall of the Olsen twins before they are of legal age to drink. Yippee!

Certainly the media has documented possible eating disorder candidates before such as Lara Flynn Boyle and Calista Flockhart, but they’re in their 30’s. Having a close friend breakdown crying and admit to me that she had an eating disorder—something that those around her had known for years—made this disorder only too real to me.

The worst thing you can do to someone with an eating disorder is to obsess over their eating and constantly talk about their weight. The omnipresent picture of Mary-Kate looking like she could be eating in a fast food restaurant is the perfect symbol of how gossick we’ve become.

Now we eagerly await her release from the treatment center. Meanwhile, we hope that a staffer or fellow patient will come forward with any juicy details—whether or not Mary-Kate has had a bowel movement, perhaps?

Stay tuned for pictures documenting Mary-Kate’s pound weight gain and her requisite recovery interviews. Obsessing over a child star’s sickness and possible recovery is so rewarding—especially if her heart stops or she has an organ failure and dies. Yeah, that’s the ultimate in entertainment.

In other news:

Instead of obsessing about the twins, read Evan Wright's notable book Generation Kill. I am thoroughly enjoying Wright's documentation of risking his life along side the elite Marine First Reconnaissance. Wright is a great storyteller, so it's not a snooze. What do Marines really talk about in a war zone? You'd be surprised...