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Stoned! Jennifer Aniston

Part of: Brangelina , Gossip , Hollywood , Rant , Stoned!
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Jennifer Aniston used to be cool. Sorry, I just blatantly lied. Jen had some appeal when she was on Friends. She was even pretty with hair extensions. Remember when she wore her hair in faux dreadlocks with that that nude and brown/paisley dress to the 1999 Emmys with Brad Pitt? She looked kind of sexy. Post-Brad she’s looked like shit except for one picture taken during The Break-up press junket in Germany. I know that Vince Vaughn is her rebound-- let’s hope that he is, because if she ever marries that puffy-faced nicotine-addicted alcoholic, she’s truly sad. Really, couldn’t she have found someone that was hot to shag? Vince Vaughn was only attractive in Swingers, and then he went downhill. A movie veteran I know worked with him on The Wedding Crashers and was not fond of the Vaughnster. You can tell that he thinks that he’s hot shit. Vaughn always plays himself in movies, too. Did any of you see Jennifer Aniston in Derailed? I watched part of that movie on a plane to see my favorite hottie, Clive Owen. I can’t believe that there were rumors that Aniston and Owen were into each other during the filming of Derailed because they had no chemistry whatsoever.

I gave up on the film because I didn’t believe in them as a couple. The movie didn’t do well either, unlike The Break-up. (Clive Owen so should’ve played James Bond.)

The Breakup has gotten nasty reviews, but has done well in the box office. I am happy for Jen, because without that success, her career would probably be over. (We all feel a little bit sorry for her, after all.) Would anyone have seen The Break-up if any other actor besides Vince Vaughn had been in it? Highly doubtful. It’s unlikely that Jen will dump Vaughn for someone cuter anytime soon. Before Brad, I know that she went out with Tate Donovan for a while. He was so not cute when they were dating. I saw the couple at The Interactive Café in Santa Monica one Friday night. Donovan was saying how cool it was when he had pictures of himself on the front page of every magazine (um, in his dreams). Jen ordered a Diet Coke and had an insecure air about herself. Obviously if she had self-esteem, she wouldn’t have been dating Donovan. I’ve seen so many pictures of Jen in magazines post-Brad that are supposed to be sexy, but aren’t. Jen has a great body and is very natural looking—this is further proof of why she needs to dump Vaughn. He’s obviously not pleasing her in bed. Brad and Angelina have been all over the world, whereas Vaughniston have mostly been places together because of work obligations. Laguna Beach, Chicago and Las Vegas are not Paris. I hope they take some time off during their promotional tour and hang out in Italy or Greece. Sure they got a few days in Paris and that’s better than nothing, but still. Vaughn is no romancer—that’s clear. I hope Jen finds a new therapist who can set her straight.

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Vince Vaughn Needs a Happy Pill


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