Breakfast: Rice Crispy Treat

My dad recently went to a conference where Ben Stein was one of the speakers. He let me borrow Ben Stein’s
“How to Ruin Your Life” and “How to Ruin Your Love Life.” I figured I could read both of them in an hour.
“How to Ruin Your Love Life” gave me some good ideas:

#14 Remember That Your Lover is Also Your Assistant, Lawyer, Placement Officer, Apartment Finder and Loan Broker.

Life would be so much easier if I could find a boyfriend who could take care of all that boring life stuff.

#7 Demand Expensive Gifts from Your Lover

I’ve never tried demanding even inexpensive gifts from a lover—imagine dragging your lover into Tiffany’s or Cartier and showing him all the jewelry he must buy you. I need to act like the true princess I am.

#11 Talk about Yourself Exclusively

I’ve met a lot of people who love to talk about themselves. I should try making my next lover MY therapist.

#17 Make Fun of Your Lover’s Family

I’ve never tried this before. It sounds like a lot of fun. Maybe I could even make up flashcards with different characteristics and make my lover figure out who it is.

#37 Pretend to be Someone You’re Not

I can practice acting without paying for class.