Breakfast: 3 wheat-free pumpkin (w/ pineapple on top) mini muffins from Mani's.

I am very sad that Pamela Anderson got her breast implants restored. How cool was it when she took them out? That took guts, since they were part of her Pamela-ness. Obviously, due to insecurities, Pamela had them put back in. Maybe I’m wrong, but I wouldn’t think that Pamela would be having financial issues that only plastic surgery could remedy. I could be naïve. I’m sure she has had other work done, but the fake breasts are overkill.

I saw her new breasts for the first time on “Less Than Perfect” last night. (For the record: I don’t like the show, but Sara Rue is adorable.) Pamela traipsed around in tight dresses with major cleavage and played the bad girl. I was truly getting upset looking at her chest. The new breasts are ugly and very ‘80s. Now I look at her and think, porn star. They are way too big.

Pamela’s natural breasts looked large to me. I’ve seen her up close in person a few times. The Pamela I’ve witnessed is down to earth and sweet. Pamela looks amazing with little or no make-up. She really does take care of her kids when she isn’t working. There is no nanny or personal assistant with Pamela ready to leap in. (And her older child is wild—a mini Tommy Lee.)

I caught Pamela on Howard Stern the other night (didn’t notice the fake breasts) and she seemed very uncomfortable with playing up her sex symbol status. I think she was being herself and didn’t want to do The Sex Kitten Act. Maybe she was just scared of Howard Stern. Pamela always comes off as being vulnerable. Stern still thinks Pam is the hottest woman alive. I’m sure it is hard being under the Hollywood microscope all the time—especially after 35. I do feel for Pamela. I think I will faint if I see her breasts in person, though.

Now you’re probably wondering why I care about breasts at all. Women really do check out each others breasts—I swear. I’d rather have my breasts smaller than bigger. Big breasts get in the way and strain your back.

Just the other day a really old friend of mine complimented my breasts and revealed her true feelings about them. Why were we even talking about breasts? I’ve been complaining to people about my shrinkage since I’ve lost weight. It's sparked some great breast bonding.

Like a lot of things, I only notice breasts that are gorgeous or really ugly. Another friend of mine once caught me staring at her chest. She wasn't naked! I was embarrassed, but they really are amazing. I appreciate all beauty. Lesbians, don't think this means that you can hit on me now and have a chance.