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« You’re so Vain; I bet you Think This Post is about you. | Home | Sleazorama »

Hipster Balloon

Part of: Hollywood , LA

My hipster balloon was popped yesterday. I went to my local “artsy” video store to rent two movies.

I had called my movie in, so I went straight to checkout. I was in an okay mood and decided to be genuine, “How are you?” I asked Artsy Clerk #2..

Artsy Clerk #2 smiled. “I’m excited to see the Matthew Barney screening tonight.”

I smiled back and waited for him to explain. There was a long pause. Uh, was I supposed to be hip enough to know Matthew Barney?

Disappointed, Artsy Clerk #2 gave me some clues, “Yeah, you know he’s Bjork’s boyfriend-- they have a child together.”

“Bjork’s current husband?” I asked. “She has two kids.”

“Yes. He directed Bjork’s video….it was amazing.” Artsy Clerk #2 spaced out for a minute. His eyebrow ring started twitching.

“Her videos are great,” I said.

“The movie is three hours long with only five lines of dialogue,” Artsy Clerk #2 looked away wistfully. “You should really see it.”

I had never gotten through 2001--A Space Odyssey. This movie wasn’t going to happen.

“Yeah, I will try to check it out,” I said.

Walking to my car, I wondered if I had lost my edge. Maybe I should only go to my Blockbuster branch. I could go back to aimlessly wandering aisles for hours. I could go back to calling Blockbuster and asking if they had a movie I wanted. (They never did.) I could go back to clerks who never commented on what I was renting. Ah, now I would have to brush up on some obscure directors.

* I asked a couple of my film critic buds, and they said Matthew Barney was super obscure. Thank God, I'm still hip.

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