A campaign called Save The Eggs has become necessary. The latest egg wasting incident happened today. One or more eggs were murdered on Arnold Schwarzeneggers' jacket. Arnold lovingly joked, "Where's the bacon?"

Yes, he had the right idea. Maybe people should substitute greasy undercooked bacon strips for eggs. This would make much more of a statement. Grease is much harder to get out of clothes, for one. Pigs are dirty animals, but chickens are cute. Maybe this won't work in light of the movie "Babe." Are pigs still in?

What do you think about slugging soy ice cream or Spam?

I am open for suggestions on what to throw at people, houses, cars, etc. Please be prompt with your responses. Halloween is coming up shortly. Let's save the yummy eggs! Bake a cake or a lovely frittata instead of lobbing them at your enemy. If anyone is interested in designing a ballot for this initiative, please contact me. I love eggs, don't you?