Breakfast: piece of French toast, fruit and coffee

I found one of my old diaries at my parents’ house the other day. I think it’s pretty safe to say that at least my mom has read it (despite my ominous warnings written below). I am on a working holiday for a few days and borrowing a friends computer. I will be posting a few more of these before going back to regular programming. I haven’t written anything personal in a while, so I’ve decide to share this--eek. All names have been changed.

From the first page of my diary:

Please don’t ever read this even if I die. Believe me, you’ll regret it if you do. This message is for anyone.

My Diary and Journal—A friend to share things with

Dear Diary,

Well you knew that I would get around to writing about this sooner or later. Yes it’s the big three letter word S-E-X. As you know I’m a virgin. I really hate that word. I don’t know it just sounds so vulgar, so pure. It’s like I really want to have sex but I don’t. My body yearns for it but my mind knows the best. I want to wait until I’m in love with a guy. I don’t want to have thought “Will I regret this when I’m older” at least 17. I mean if I wanted I could have sex now and sometimes I think “Why don’t I?” I mean why does it matter how old you are. It scares me sometimes though. What scares me is the kind of person that I am. Sometimes I’ll try things even if they are wrong. So what if I’m dating some guy and I’m like 15 or 16 and I think I love him and he says that he loves me. Then we have sex and a few weeks later he dumps me. You know I can think of only one good reason (well it’s not even good) for me to have sex and that is to satisfy by body. I mean sex is so casual these days. I really wish that it weren’t because then I wouldn’t be tempted. You know on the outside I’m a strong person but in the inside I’m weak.

Dear Diary,

I’m so sorry that I haven’t written for so long. Well…I’m in high school now. I really like it. It’s a fun school. There are these two guys that live below us in the stilt house. Their names are Chris and Paul. They’re juniors at my school. It’s funny because first I liked Paul. He’s really cute, but now I like Chris. Chris is so cute and nice. I had an orthodontist appointment today and on the way back we saw Chris. He was driving home from school. Mom was rating his driving. I wonder if he likes me. It kind of seems like he does but I don’t know. It would be so cool if I had a boyfriend that was a junior cause then I could go to the junior prom. Rebecca and I tried on this really rad dress last weekend. It was velvet with blue taffeta. It was gorgeous. Well I called Chris and Paul was on the phone. Hopefully Chris will call me back. I’ll write back later.