Breakfast: Banana Nutri Grain Muffin Bar

Disclaimer: Leo’s please don’t send me hate mail. I have many Leo friends, and my rising sign is Leo, which means that I come off as a Leo. (BTW: My sun sign is Pisces, the best sign.)

Two Leos I haven’t talked to in ages, both e-mailed me invitations to their birthday parties. With the first Leo, I was wondering if he sent it to me by accident. We had a falling out over something I wrote about his friend that I wouldn’t delete. He was a real dick about it, too. I did not reply to his Evite. I don’t hate him or anything, but if I were going to befriend him again, it wouldn’t be on this occasion. Besides, guy friends are almost always trouble unless they are gay or married.

The second Leo called and left this message:

“Hey, Tiffany, it’s Leo. We haven’t spoken in a long time and I don’t know why. I think we’re just being girls, and we can just kind of be like that, and get busy with our lives, and we respect that. Anyway, I sent you an e-mail and it wasn’t by accident. I’d love if you could come to my party. And let me know if you can make it. I always loved hanging out with you. So give me a call or e-mail me and let me know if you can make it.”

This Leo and I didn’t have a falling out. The reason I haven’t called her is because she’s an alcoholic. I also think she was jealous of me and lied to me about several things. Imagine that, an addict who lies! She probably hasn’t called me, because the last time we hung out she was hitting on me. She repeated like 50 times, “you’re so pretty.”

Leo was drunk, and I really don’t think she’s a lesbian. She is very pretty, and you never know, maybe I would’ve kissed her if she didn’t have all that baggage. (I’ve never kissed a girl, but I’m not going to say I never will) But maybe she got the vibe that I was over our friendship after hanging out with her that last time. I was. And please, any girl who uses the excuse, “we’re just being girls,” is not someone I want to hang out with.

Did these two Leos invite me to their birthday parties because they truly wanted to be friends again and missed me? No. They invited me so they could have more people admiring them on their “special” day. I love myself too, but only invite my real friends to my birthday.