Breakfast At Tiffany's




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Mystic Hooligan Predicts my Future

Part of: Trick Or Treat


Breakfast: baguette with Bonne Maman blueberry jam and butter

Mystic Hooligan wrote me a couple of weeks ago:

You seem to have an interest in Earth celebrities.

It happens that I have the power to peer into the future. I respect your skepticism but if you name a celebrity I can tell you the means of their demise. Really. Truly. Would I lie?

I will then post it on my home page under "Celebrity Deaths."

Thanks for your fine contributions of talent and wit to JS and your support of beings from other worlds.

Tiffany writes:

I wrote MH back that I don't care about celebrities. Yeah, I know you're all shocked. I might care about non-Earth celebs. Anyway, the talented Smotlock pointed out to me today that MH has peered into my future as well as his. This is the best parody-esque post concerning Breakfast at Tiffany's that I've read. However, I already attended a Buddhist college and didn't become one. In fact, the Buddhists I met in Boulder were really smug and irritating--hard to believe, eh? I've had two L.A Buddhists try to enlighten me. At the one Buddhist meeting I attended (or whatever you call them), I became irritated. We had to chant forever. Then people told really long stories about how chanting had changed their lives. Next time I'll just read a self-help book. I left and smugly thought to myself, I'm cool because I'm not a Buddhist. Anyway, MH seems pretty freaky and pretty freakin' creative.


She can write, she’s clever, she’s hip and (rumor has it) she’s quite a looker.

This gal will continue to walk in the sublime sunlight of peer approval and material success for many years to come. There will be appearances on Oprah and movie parts (just background stuff, like the hot chick that walks past in tight shorts, but the pay is sah-weet) and dates with “B” list celebrity boy toys of every race, creed and color.

In time, though, our busy girl-of-the-world becomes deeply disillusioned with the glitz and the hype of life amongst the beautiful people. This leads to intense study of the philosophical disciplines, which, in turn, leads her to become a serious Zen Buddhist.

After several months of non-stop meditation it occurs to her that Buddhism, while nicely enlightening and cleansing, is a bit boring and not as populated with hot guys as she had hoped.

Not to fear, our industrious Tiffany decides the time has come for Zen Fashion. What the world needs now is little jade buddha-images on purses and high heels and tank tops and thongs. Throw in a Buddha fragrance line, body lotions, and soaps shaped like Kali and other favorite deities.

This rakes in millions and Tiff is on top of the world.

But, she knew that would happen.

Blog Du Jour: Blackgypsy

Congrats/Happy Birthday: Ginger and Candy from CandiedGinger. I love you girls!


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