Breakfast At Tiffany's




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Public Displays of Affliction

Part of: LA , Rant

[Breakfast: super florentine omelette sans mushrooms= spinach, goat cheese (instead of cheddar cheese), chicken apple sausage(instead of spicy sausage)onions and coffee from Bread and Porridge.]

I’ve never been a fan of Public Displays of Affection. I guess that you’re either a PDA person or not. I don’t think there’s a gray area. When I see PDA, I feel like I’m silently being taunted, “I’m in love and you aren’t!” or “Watch me! I get more turned on when you do!!” or “Thanks for participating in our foreplay.” If I wanted to watch a porno, I would. If I wanted to watch attractive naked people live making out for free, I would. If I wanted to get paid for being made to watch ugly and/or fat people making out, I would.

Kissing should be off-limits in public. When people are furiously tonguing each other, it’s certainly a “lewd act in public”. When men have tried PDA with me in the past, I’ve felt like it was more of an ego thing. I know they’re thinking, “Look, this uber hot chic, Tiffany, likes me and is fucking me!” I’ve tried to become less suspicious of this behavior, because I don’t look at other PDA’s and think that. Some people can’t wait to get home to make out. That’s a beautiful thing, right? Gag.

When I was in Paris was the only exception. I found it romantic that people were making out in the middle of the streets, but it generally looked like it was out of a movie. Maybe it was because the people were young, attractive and had good bodies. North Americans making out don’t have the same je nais se quoi except for maybe in NYC. Maybe I’m uncomfortable with being around PDA’s because love has been so illusive for me. I have a hard time even meeting men to whom I’m attracted. I feel like most people have it much easier. No, that's that's not the case. I just find PDA really fucking annoying.

My favorite couple, B.J. Bond and Gigi (both very attractive) are constantly making out in public. I feel uncomfortable telling them not to because they’re so in love and haven’t even been together a year. Wait, the reality is I have told them a million times but they don't give a shit. Recently, I was at the Avalon hotel with a few people and Gigi and B.J. were making out the whole time. Some random guy even pulled the curtain to their cabana closed. They just laughed and pulled it back open. Seriously, they're obviously attention whores and they're not even actors! At another hotel, The Standard Downtown, Gigi and B.J. were making out on a Saturday night, so it was very crowded. Some guys sitting near them made a sarcastic comment. (They were obviously bitter that they weren’t getting laid). A hotel is the one place where you can tell people to get a room and it’s actually funny. Gigi and B.J. get told this at least once a week. B.J. answers with: “Why don't you pay for it you fucking sad loser can't get a date to save your life asshole?” But he gets away with being so rude because he has a British accent.

I'm surprised that B.J. and Gigi don't vomit over each other given the amount of deep thrusting tongue action that goes on. How disgusting is that? I even caught B.J. groping Gigi's breast the other day. I don’t think small children should be subjected to that. I mean you wouldn’t let your children see an R rated film (though there was a handful of children under 10 at the screening of Team America: World Police I watched). PDA has to draw the line somewhere. And no, I'm not going to vote for Bush because he's most certainly anti-PDA. (Actually, he probably doesn't know what he thinks about the issue.) Just think twice before you subject someone to your PDA, because it's probably nasty for others to watch. Merci beaucoup.

Blog Post Du Jour:

"The kindness of strangers"
posted 10/21/04 by BlackGypsy

L.A. Literati Event Du Jour (Tuesday):

former Naropa University classmate of moi, Will Chris Baer, is reading here


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