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« Annoying Bitch Poll | Home | Detested Development- Part 2 »

Cristal and the City

Part of: Literati , Television

[Breakfast: Mimosa and wild smoked salmon with organic cream cheese on an English muffin]

Candace Bushnell AKA creator of "Sex and the City" was on some Scottish guy’s late night show. I’ve only read print interviews with her, so I decided to check her out. I did not find her endearing like I found the character "Carrie" who was based on her in "Sex and the City". She mentioned that there was some interest in people doing a reality show starring her. Hmm…not if she says insulting things like:

"Why do Americans only have champagne for special occasions? It’s so boring. In Europe people drink champagne all the time! I was just in London and was offered champagne everywhere I went."

Blah, blah, blah--Whoever came up with that not-quite-amusing anecdote should be fired.

Q. Where were the "Sex and the City" writers when you need them?

A. Hanging out in their Hawaiian houses coming up with their next hit show.

I decided not to be so judgmental. Maybe I had just been to the wrong parts of Europe. I called up my English friend Toby for consultation.

He laughed and we came up with a few European scenarios starring Candace.

EXT. HEATHROW AIRPORT

CAB DRIVER I know you! You’re that famous American writer. I just opened a fresh bottle of champagne, would you fancy a glass?

CANDACE
You are too kind!


CUT TO:

INT. SAVOY HOTEL LONDON

CONCIERGE Omigod! You are Candace Bushnell! I’ll have a bottle of our best champagne sent up to your suite immediately! Can I get your autograph?"

CANDACE
Of course.


CUT TO:

INT. BUCKINGHAM PALACE

PRINCE WILLIAM Candy, let’s toast to you dumping that dandy husband of yours and becoming my wife.

CANDACE
I’ve always wanted to be a princess!


Toby and I had a good laugh. I wonder if Candace is in L.A. right now? I’d love to have her over at my boyfriend’s house for a Valentine’s Day Mimosa. I wonder if Veuve Clicquot yellow label would be beneath her.

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